I had a rude awakening on Thursday morning at around 3:00 AM. There I was sound asleep and all of a sudden I was rousted from my sleep by a voice saying "Oh my fu@#ing word the basement has 6 inches of water in it." Now mind you I am asleep in a room in the basement and my dogs are out in the family room on the couch that is now surrounded by water. (Picture the flood insurance commercial with the Jack Russell on top of the table floating around while his owners are oblivious to what is going on around them.) Anyway, I got up and immediately stepped in water. The damn water softener had burst. I was closing valves and turning knobs with no response. So I ran to the main shutoff valve and cut all water to the house. I never knew there were things called resin beads in the softener, but I'll tell ya when they come out it is an ooey, gooey mess of pink sludge and it is very, very slick. That stuff was everywhere in blobs. Needless to say we spent the next few hours moving stuff outside and waited almost all day for the restoration people to come. They had to tear out all carpet and flooring and then set up around 20 fans and a huge de-humididifier in the basement. Talk about loud and putting off some major heat. As you know heat rises and now the upstairs is around 85 degrees and we can't turn any air on that might cause more humidity in the basement. I have had men coming and going since then testing for mold and moving fans around every single day. I am happy that they care, but what an invasion. Oh but hey, they bring me a single yellow rose every day. Monday the insurance guy will come and check things out and hopefully cut me a check, so I can get my basement back.

Now for something on a lighter note

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER

1. Sag, you're It.

2. Hide and go pee.

3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.

4. Kick the bucket

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.

6. Musical recliners.

7. Simon says something incoherent.

8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:

1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids'
names on them.

3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

OLD IS WHEN:

1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as
long as you don't have to go a long.

3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.

4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

THOUGHTS FOR THE WEEKEND:

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our
life we could simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and start all over?

If raising children was going to be easy, it never
would have started with something called labor!

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells
live forever.

PONDERISMS

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I
learned that most people die of natural causes.

Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make
sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on
it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the
house is to buy a replacement.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder
these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world
weird.. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it
normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest
fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?


Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever
comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken
there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.'


If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there
a song about him?


Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going
to look up there anyway?


Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

But Most Of All, Remember!

A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra. Hard to Find,
Supportive, Comfortable, and Always Close To Your Heart!

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